Cats Are Metal
by We.Fear.Not.Death
Summary: Toki's favorite cat, Kipper, finally decides to show his face to the young guitarist! Just an extended drabble. At least I tried with the accents. I just made up the cat's names off the top of my head, and I've mentioned Kipper in other fics, so I figured I'd explain the little mystery's story.


**Title: Cats Are Metal**

**Author: idunno-bro**

**Summary: Toki's favorite cat, Kipper, finally decides to show his face to the young guitarist! Just an extended drabble. At least I tried with the accents. I just made up the cat's names off the top of my head, and I've mentioned Kipper in other fics, so I figured I'd explain the little mystery's story.**

**Rating: T for slight language, and for the fact that it's Metalocalypse.**

**Characters: Toki Wartooth, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, Kipper (OC)**

Although Toki never seen him much, Kipper was by-far his favorite of the cats who lived in Mordhaus. There were 5 of them, Kipper, Juno, Spark, Lara, and Jack. They each had a different trait that made them easy to tell apart, other than their markings. Juno liked to eat, Spark ran around Mordhaus like a lunatic, Lara liked to hunt in the courtyard, and Jack liked to sleep. Kipper loved to hide, and Toki knew that. Whenever one of his band members tried to tell him that the little tabby calico didn't like him, he rebutled with the fact that when the elusive feline decided to show, he ate cat treats right out of his hand.

Toki was in bed and talking to Deddy Bear one morning, when he heard his door creak. Although he was suprised for a moment, he looked toward the door to see the little fuzzy cat trotting towards him with his tail high in the air.

"Kipper! How ams you?" He asked the cat, who rubbed up against Toki's chest and sat on his lap. Kipper was purring loudly; Toki just figured it was a sign that the fuzzball missed him.

"Did you see anythin's excitin's on your travels?" Toki scratched behind the cat's ears as Kipper looked at him and raised his paw up proudly. The young guitarist quietly laughed and stroked the cat's soft fur.

Meanwhile, Skwisgaar was roaming the halls, looking for something to do. As he walked, he heard Toki quietly speaking Norsk in his room. Skwisgaar could barely hear him, so it was hard to decipher, but he _had_ to see what was going on.

"/n/ Kipper, would you like a treat? /n/" Toki asked, as he went into the drawer in his bed-side table to find one of the bags of cat treats he stashed. Kipper purred with joy as the smell of food entered his nose. The Norwegian took out one of the small tidbits and raised it above Kipper's head, making him sit on his hind legs. Toki laughed and gave the cat the treat.

"Stupids Toki ands his cats..." Skwisgaar whispered to himself as he stood outside the slighty cracked door that lead to Toki's room. After a few minutes of bottling in laughter, he decided to ruin the moment and barge into the younger guitarist's room.

"Toki, what ams with you ands that stupid dildos cats?" He asked, smiling and crossing his arms. Toki, who barely even noticed when the Swede walked in, put his feet on the ground beside his bed and stared, wide-eyed.

"Kipper ams nots a stupid dildos! You ams a stupid dildos for hating cats!" He replied. Kipper was sitting next to Toki on the bed, looking around the room, but not moving (except for the tip of his tail, which was casually twitching).

"You ams rights, _I_ _hates cats. _They ams not metal. And they makes me sneeze..." Skwisgaar sat in a desk chair that was nearby.

"Cats ams totally metal!" Toki complained. The Swede let out a laugh and leaned back in the desk chair. "They ams killing machines. Haves you ever watched a cat hunts? They make themselves small as possibles, and they watch they're preys until the times ams rights..."

"Ja, then whats?" Skwisgaar sarcastically asked.

"They goes out theres, and kills it! They plays with the dead bodies for hours on ends!" He continued. Skwisgaar never really watched a cat hunt before, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, it sounded interesting.

"Do they evers eats it?"

"Ja. After they ams done playing withs its." Toki smiled as he petted Kipper, who was lying against him now. Skwisgaar crossed his arms again.

"_Pfft!_ That amnest enoughs... How else ams cats metal?" Toki placed a finger on his chin and looked up, trying to think of a good reason why cats were metal.

"Wells... Their teeths ams sharps! So ams their claws. They could easily kills you, if they was mads enough." Toki thought out loud. He thought of many reasons out loud, actually. The way that they look cute and cuddly, but are hardcore killers, for example. Skwisgaar wouldn't take any of them for an answer. Toki finally let out a small sigh and showed him a deep, long scar from his forearm to his bicep.

"What... What ams that froms?" Skwisgaar asked, almost suprised by how painful the scratch must have been when it was first made.

"This was froms a year agos. That little shits, Spark, gives it to mes." Toki replied, rubbing his arm. Skwisgaar knew who Spark was- She was the meanest of the five cats who lived at Mordhaus. She was an orange and black calico, who was big and lean. She's given everyone in Dethklok a deep gash like the one on Toki's arm at least once, even Skwisgaar got one.

"I haves one too, Toki." Skwisgaar replied as he took off his boot and lifted up his pants leg, showing him a long, almost healed scratch that led from the middle of his leg to the back of his ankle. Toki looked up and smiled at him.

"Do you thinks cats ams metal nows?" He asked as he stroked Kipper's fur. Skwisgaar nodded and got up from the desk chair. Suddenly, Kipper rubbed up against Toki's arm and ran out of the room.

"Haves fun on you's journey, Kipper!" Toki called. Skwisgaar looked at the door and back at Toki, but decided not to question. He smiled at the young Norwegian and walked out of the room. Toki went back to lying on his bed, where he hugged and talked to Deddy Bear until the band meeting later that day.

**A/N: I hoped you liked it c: when I started writing this particular story, I intended to write smut about Pickles and Nathan, but ended up writing a cute cat story. That's how distracted I get. I would love some reviews, but please be nice. I don't mind creative criticism, but please don't be mean. In other words, **_**don't be a dick, be a dude**_**. Thanks for reading c: **


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